Great are you Lord...

How I love Your works
My God, My King
How I love Your works
My God, My King
Your Name rings on the plains
Like a not so distant train
And Love and history are near
In the flowers that you make
The flowers that you make

Because I'll never hold the picture
Of the whole horizon in my view
Because I'll never rip the night in two
It makes me wonder
Who am I, Who am I, Who am I
And great are you

How I love Your Word
My God, My King
How I love Your Word
My God, My King
Your love cuts through these pages to my heart
As you grieve our sins, right from the start
And sacrifice and paradise are in
The plans that you made, The plans that you made

:For the last 3 years i havent been able to get this song out of my head, out of my heart really. This is my life song, my heartsong...
So many memories have been stored away in the back of my soul, memories of singing this song watching the sunrise in Botswana, arms outstretched to the sky, the silliest smile pasted to my face. I've never felt so in love, so calm, so held. So many things have changed over the years, I found my earthly love, and we're now expecting our first baby in 34 days... People have come and gone from my life, friendships have moved across the Country, but God is still faithful to me... He still whispers to me... He still speaks to me through this song...
If you havent heard it, read this while you listen to it on utube... Its called "great are you" by Downhere
Who am i Lord? Who am i in this time of change? Am i still that woman after your heart? Am i still giddy with the passion of your undying love for me? YES! I feel His presence even more in times of trial, i feel like ive been devastated so deeply i cant express the agony my heart feels, and yet in that same moment i felt the most relief ive felt in years... Like He swept in on the most beautiful white horse and whisked me up out of the marshlands before that herd of wild black bulls could gore me as i knelt waving my red ribbon in surrender. I was so willing to accept defeat, so allow the horrid ending of friendship and trust to gore my very heart out, but my Jesus doesnt see it that way. He knew i was done, so He galloped in and swooped my outstretched hand up behind him, telling me to hold tight, He'd ride out the storm...
Then... All i have to do is cry out.... "ill praise you in this storm..." The thunder rolls... I barely hear you whisper through the rain... Im with you.... I raise my hands....
Oh Jesus ill praise you! I will! Every tear Lord.... You never left my side.... My heart is torn.... BUT I WILL PRAISE YOU...

Sometimes i question my own heart as a woman, why do i need to feel so many emotions at one time? Desperation, pleading, strength, weakness, readiness, steadiness, heartache, passion.... OH JESUS WHY? Why do they always do this to me? Why ME? How can i possibly trust another woman with even a single beat of my beautifully aching heart? So many have failed me! Why such a terrible betrayal? Do none understand the agony i already feel toward him? Do they listen when i express my desire to be his little sister? Do they hear my heart? Is it only you who understands me? How do i move on? My heart is TORN. Oh Jesus i love you more now than i ever have... My passion for you i once danced because of, it has returned ten fold... How can i possibly mourn a loss when i feel such a beautiful sense of joy and safety near your side? How can i sort out this mumbo jumbo in my mind? All i want to do is let it go... feel the freedom in your arms... and i do! I cant be angry, i cant be hurt, all i can do is bathe in you... The security in knowing that i cant hold the whole horizon in my view... and only you know where this is going...

: I want to sit at your feet
drink from the cup in your hand
lay back against you and breathe
feel your heartbeat

this love is so deep
its more than i can stand
i melt in your peace
its overwhelming...:
(Kari Jobe, "the more i seek you")

I melt Lord, in YOUR peace... Oh Jesus may this little one inside of me love you the way i do... Oh Lord let her always desire you the way i do... let her know the passion you have for her heart, the desire you have to hold her in your arms...

Let her know there's NO sweeter name than the name of Jesus! Protect her father, let her be the woman you're waiting for, to use in mighty ways, to mother the nations, to bring hope to children, to love on the unlovely... Take my little girl and make her yours Jesus... Let us always treat her as your precious daughter...

YOU ARE THE ONLY TRUTH AND THE WAY...
YOU ARE THE LIGHT TO THE DARKNESS AROUND ME...
YOU ARE THE HOPE TO THE HOPELESS AND BROKEN...
YOU ARE THE LIFE TO MY HEART AND MY SOUL...

JESUS, JESUS, JESUS, JESUS...

YOU are worthy... I WILL sing a new song to you Jesus... In this time of trial and misunderstanding, you are more alive to me than ever...